Bring Them Back
by mynamesrach
Summary: Katniss is sent back to District 12 with Haymitch. After month's of loneliness and depression, Gale and Peeta comes back...
1. Look Who's Back

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.**

**So this is all taking place at the end part of Mockingjay, but before she and Peeta become a couple and all. Say… right before he comes back to District 12.**

**This is my first try at a fanfic so… review and tell me what you think!**

**PS: THE FIRST CHAPTER OR SO IS PROBABLY GONNA BE KIND OF SLOW ON THE GALENISS STUFF. If you're a Peeta/Katniss shipper, I'll forewarn you that I'm for Galeniss, so that's who I plan to put together by the end of this. But you're welcome to read it anyways =)**

**Okay enough rambling. Enjoy!**

A stale air hangs in the room. I cringe a little at the taste of my own morning breath. The light piercing through the shutters tells me that it's midafternoon.

Yet another day to sit through.

After brushing my teeth without toothpaste, I slowly make my way downstairs before dropping onto a chair by the kitchen table. Greasy Sae had left some food out, like she does every morning. Eggs and toast. I think she's stopped waiting for me to finish eating because we always end up sitting in silence.

My head spins as I go back in time. Gale. Gale, half conscious, weak, and wounded. Gale lying on this very table after being whipped 40 times. Gale's eyes fluttering open after I kiss him. Gale's fingers interlocked with mine all night long, as I fall asleep with my head on the table next to his. Now I think about the fact that Gale is in District 2, apparently with some kind of fancy job, probably with some other girl that lets him hold her in his arms, whisper into her ear and kiss her as much as he likes.

I don't feel like eating.

I grab a glass of water to wash down the nasty remainders of morning breath. I follow that up with some white liquor.

I think of Peeta, walking into Haymitch's living room with a box of empty bottles, announcing that he has emptied all of them, stubbornly insisting that we're going to start training for the Quarter Quell. Peeta looking out for me. Peeta trying protect me.

I take another swig.

At what point does it become unhealthy to live like this? When it's been more than a month of mess, moping, and memories? When I can shape my hair into any shape I want, because it's so greasy? Or when I stop thinking that it's not right?

I move to the couch, and collapse right into another nightmare.

I'm standing in a jungle that I immediately recognize as the arena for the 75th Hunger Games. A jabberjay screams in an agony that makes my hair stand on end. I hear Gale. Part of me wants to run to his voice, to do everything I can save him from whatever they're doing to him, but I remind myself that it's just a recording. "Katniss!" He cries. "KATNISS!" I find myself on the ground, hunched and desperately clawing at my ears, trying to ignore it. After what seems like a lifetime, I can take no more. I try to shoot the bird, but the thick foliage hides it from me, and I can't kill it. So I climb and climb, frantically looking for the jabberjay, only to find Gale, covered in his own blood, tied to a tree by a rope around his waist. His bloodshot eyes stare into mine. "You didn't help me…"

"Gale! I thought you were a jabberjay! Gale, I… I'm so sorry…"

"We were hunting partners, Katniss." His slurred words pierce right through my heart. "We were supposed to have each other's backs, no matter what…"

I can't look at him. I can't think. I can't breathe. I can't stop myself from sobbing, right there in the tree. "PEETA!" I cry, "Peeta! Help! Help! PEETA! It's Gale! It's Gale, and he-" I turn around, and Peeta's hands are around my throat. The ruins and ashes of District 12 lie around us. Gale is gone.

"You! You killed my family! This place burned down because of _you!_ You're a mutt! You're the _Capitol's_ mutt!"

His wild, raging eyes are still burned into my mind when I sit up. My breathing is rapid and shallow, and I think I'm screaming.

I run out the front door, tripping over nothing and landing in crumpled heap on the dirt, sobbing. I flinch when I hear my name. "Katniss?"

I'm dumbfounded. I don't know what to say. I have nothing to say.

"You came back."

Peeta looks at me, eyes full of pain. "They wouldn't let me come back. They weren't sure if I was in a…stable condition to return."

They weren't sure if he'd be able to see me without having inaccurate flashbacks programmed into his mind with tracker jacker venom. They weren't sure if he'd manage to look at my face without lunging for my throat.

"Oh," is all I can say in return.

"Katniss…" his voice sounds so agonized. He sounds like he has so much to say. "Why don't you go take a shower, and then come over to… catch up?"

Instinctively, I reach my hand up to my hair. It's clumpy and greasy and matted down. I can feel dirt on my face, and I already know that my clothes are dirty. "Right. Right. Okay. I'll see you later then." I turn and run back in, up the stairs, falling over myself again and again. I wince at the hot water burning on my raw, just-scrubbed skin. In a few minutes I'm in Peeta's living room, with my hair still dripping wet.

The first thing he asks is, "Where's Gale?" I look down, then turn my head to face the window. I shrug. We sit in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes until I find the nerve to say something. Anything.

"So, uh, how have you- …how have you been?" Vague, yes, but it's something.

He briefly tells me about therapy, about the Capitol, about what's been happening in Panem. He asks about Haymitch, and we spend the next half hour making small talk. Finally, after yet another awkward pause, he can't stop himself anymore.

"Have you talked to Gale _at all_?" he blurts out. I can't explain the mixture of emotions that showed up out of nowhere. Guilt, because I know that Peeta is still waiting for me. Anger, because it really is none of his business. Grief, because I _haven't_ talked to Gale since before I shot Coin, and I don't have the slightest clue what my best friend is up to or how he is. And what I long for, more than anything, is to have my hunting partner with me, to understand me and listen to me and talk to me and be around for me.

Instead of answering Peeta, I stand up and go back home.


	2. Letters

**I do not own The Hunger Games series, or the characters in it. Or the lyrics in it, for that matter.**

**Thank you to teamGale143 and for the reviews :)**

**I'll try to update as often as possible… but I can't be sure exactly how busy school will be for me, but I promise I'll update whenever I have time.**

By the time I make it through the door, I'm gasping for air between sobs. I stumble towards the kitchen, grabbing the ledge of the marble counter to keep my balance. In a second, I'm on my knees, digging through a basket that I've never let myself see before. Greasy Sae told me that she put all my unread letters in a small woven tray next to the stove. What she didn't tell me was how many I'd received.

Mom, Gale, Mom, Gale, Peeta, Gale, Annie, Mom, Gale, Peeta, Mom…

My hands are shaking like I have Parkinson's as I sort each of them by sender, then by date. Then after an eternity of staring at the piles, I reach for the first one that Gale had sent me.

_Dear Catnip,_

Those two words evoke so many memories, so much love, so much hate, so much pain… I wonder if I'll even be able to get through the whole letter.

_I hope you're doing alright in District 12. Haha, what's it like having Haymitch as your only neighbor? Not too bad, I hope. Do me a favor and try not to go see him too often. Not that he's a bad guy, of course, but __after all that's happened__ I just figured that he might be drinking __and since things can't be easy right now __and that he might offer you one and that you might end up taking it. No! No, of course you wouldn't. What am I saying, Katniss, you're so strong. I mean, I don't think you'd be so weak to succumb to alcoholism. NO! No, Haymitch isn't weak. That's not what I meant. I mean I was just_

_Okay. I'll stop with that and get right to the point. I'm sorry Katniss. I am so, unbelievably sorry. I never expect you to forgive me. I should have been more careful, more thoughtful. It was so stupid for me to be designing traps for them. __The goal was to get rid of Snow, not send us into an apocalypse by killing off half of mankind.__ I'm so sorry. I will never, ever be able to explain how sorry I am. Katniss, I would do anything to bring her back. I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so, so sorry._

_I love you_

_Your best friend_

_Gale_

Short. Repetitive. But enough to trigger tears. His last words to me echo through my mind.

_That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family._

The sobs come out harder, faster, and my chest hurts like I've been stabbed. I find myself shaking my head, looking at the letter, shaking my head faster. No, Gale. That _wasn't_ the only thing you had going for you. You meant so, so much more to me. You were my best friend, Gale. My hunting partner. The one that I trusted more than anything. You always had my back, and I had yours. You loved me, Gale. And I love you so much it hurts to breathe. I miss my best friend, Gale. I needed you, Gale. _I still need you!_

I let out a cry and curl up into a ball, not even thinking about the white envelopes lying next to me. Gale. Gale. Gale. Gale. _Gale_.

I sit up, suddenly, and tear open the next one. It was sent the day after the first one. Each word is like a knife in my heart. He's in District 2. He's sorry. He misses me. He keeps crossing it out when he says he loves me. He's sorry. He hopes I'm doing well. He's sorry.

The next one was sent two days later. He's sorry. He misses me. He's sorry. He has a job. He's helping to rebuild the ruins of Panem. He's thinking of Prim. He's sorry. He still won't say he loves me.

A few days after that one, his letter is shorter. He's sorry. He wishes I would write back. His job is exhausting.

I spend the rest of the day reading his letters, carefully checking the date on each one. I've been here for five and a half months. His letters start getting shorter and less frequent. His last one was sent almost a month ago.

_Katniss, you hate me. You haven't written back at all. I'm sorry. I'm still sorry. I will always, always be sorry._

_I'll stop bothering you with these now. You probably aren't even reading them anymore._

_I really hope things are good for you._

_-Gale_

I draw in a sharp, jagged breath, close my eyes, and lean my head back against the cupboard. Gale… I don't hate you… What am I talking about? Of course I hate you! You killed my sister! But you saved her before, and you saved my mother, and you saved me…

I scramble to find a pen and a piece of paper.

_Gale,_

I stop. I cry. I look back at the paper in front of me, and I start crying again. I stand up and pace, thinking of what to say. I sit back down again. I stare at his name in my large, messy handwriting. The crying starts up again. I can't do this.

I could call him? No, it's too late now. I could send him a package? But no, I don't have anything to send him. I let out a shout of frustration. I have never been good at words. In the Games, Peeta did all the talking. This is just like the time when I tried to write something for Rue. An empty sheet in front of me, unable to hold half the things I'm feeling. But I have say _something_ to him…

Gale, I love you? No, that could be interpreted in a million different ways. Gale, come visit me? Oh, sure. Ask him to leave his high ranking job in Two to come see someone that hasn't bothered to write to him in months. Gale, I forgive you? That sounds so obnoxious! I have plenty to apologize for myself. Gale, I'm sorry? That wouldn't work, either. What if it makes him angry?

I bury my head in my arms, and slowly sing myself to sleep…

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>Where they strung up a man they say murdered three.  
>Strange things did happen here<br>No stranger would it be  
>If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree<br>_

_Are you, are you__  
><em>_Coming to the tree__  
><em>_Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.__  
><em>_Strange things did happen here__  
><em>_No stranger would it be__  
><em>_If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.___

_Are you, are you__  
><em>_Coming to the tree__  
><em>_Where I told you to run so we'd both be free.__  
><em>_Strange things did happen here__  
><em>_No stranger would it be__  
><em>_If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.___

_Are you, are you__  
><em>_Coming to the tree__  
><em>_Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.__  
><em>_Strange things did happen here__  
><em>_No stranger would it be__  
><em>_If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree._


	3. Memory Lane

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions. It's really encouraging. :D**

**Oh, and I realized that when I type words with strikethroughs, it doesn't show. Half of Gale's letter in the last chapter was supposed to be shown with strikeouts but, oh well. :) I'm not sure I like the way this one turned out half as much as I liked the first two chapters… I hope you still like them ^^**

Its pitch black, and I can't see a thing. Someone calls out my name. "Gale?" I shout into the blackness. The only thing I can hear now are the echoes of my own voice. Now a scream. "Peeta?" I push myself to my feet, spinning around, staring into the blackness. Desperately trying to save someone I can't see.

"KATNISS!"

"PRIM!" I'm running. I don't know where, but I'm not stopping. I have to find her. "PRIM! PRIM, WHERE ARE YOU?" My pace quickens when I hear her scream. I rub the tears off my face, straining my eyes, trying to find her in the darkness. I turn and see a light to my left. I run as fast as I can, through the emptiness, screaming her name all the way. I pull up short when I see my sister on fire, like a burning, human torch…

I wake up to find myself in bed, wearing a sweater that I didn't have on yesterday. When I go downstairs, I see that the letters I'd left on the floor were neatly stacked into piles on the table, next to a plate of eggs, toast, and some sort of meat. Greasy Sae is sitting in one of the chairs, knitting a ball of blue yarn and quietly humming to herself. She smiles when she sees me.

"Well, would you look at that. She's up!" She laughs. "It's noon on a spring day. You ought to get out. Enjoy it. Go hunting!"

I stare at her.

"There's a bow down the hall, if you ever decide to give it a go." She's still smiling. As I eat my food, she asks me questions about Peeta, obviously not expecting me to answer any of them. She talks about the different meats that are being imported over, about Haymitch's house smelling as bad as ever, about the changes being made in society, before she gets tired of talking and excuses herself.

I suddenly remember the letter that I was trying to write to Gale. I look around for the paper, then realize that Greasy Sae must have thrown it away, seeing as it was a crumpled sheet with nothing on it. I decide not to write to him.

I look down at the rest of the letters. It seems I've got a lot of reading to do. I study the names of the different senders. Mom, Peeta, Annie…

I rule out Annie, because I can't handle hearing about her child, or soon to be child. I can't read her letter knowing that as devastated as I am at Finnick's death, she must be broken beyond the point of repair.

Hesitantly, I grab one of my mother's, start to open it, and then put it back. I love my mother. I miss her so much. I can't do it.

That leaves Peeta. I can't help but feel a little strange as I open his first letter, knowing that he's next door. His letter is short. Shorter than Gale's first letter. He asks about me, about Twelve, then reassures me that everything is well with him in the New Capitol and wishes that it's the same with me. His next one wasn't much different, he only told me a little bit about Dr. Aurelius. Occasionally he would mention something about the food, how it hasn't gotten any worse at all, and how he thinks of me every time they serve lamb stew with dried plums. I wonder how he managed to send so many letters when there was almost no need to write one at all. He wrote things that people wouldn't ordinarily tell others. Small things. Thoughts. Every once in a while he'd say something that sounds almost romantic, then he'd start talking about something else like it's no big deal. In one, he wrote:

_It's funny, Katniss. I was on the roof last night. The same one where we spent an entire day together. I was looking up at the moon, and I remembered being in the arena, wondering if the moon was another prop made by the Gamemakers, or if it was the same one that my family was looking at back home. And when I was on the roof, I couldn't help but wonder if you were looking at it at the same time. It's funny how excited one can get over such a small thing. Speaking of small things, guess what they served for breakfast today?_

I cast a glance towards the door, half expecting Peeta to walk in with a loaf of fresh bread, jabbering about something else he'd noticed recently. I almost wish he would.

I've missed Peeta. So much more than I've let myself think. For months, I've been wondering about Gale, whether he's found another pair of lips to kiss, whether he still goes hunting, or whether he even needs to anymore. I've thought about both Gale and Peeta, of course, but I've undermined just how much I missed Peeta.

I suppose I was being selfish. I knew that Peeta wouldn't stop loving me. He was only in the New Capitol for therapy, after all. I don't think it was his choice to stay there. I knew for a fact that the boy with the bread would come back to me.

But with Gale… I didn't know anything for sure. I still don't. All I know is that he's in District 2 with some wonderful job. I don't know if he's found someone else. I don't know if he was writing to me because he missed me as a best friend, or if he was still in love with me. I didn't know _anything_ for sure.

I shudder and shake off all thoughts of Gale. No. Not now. Now, I am reading Peeta's letters. Gale… Gale's okay.

I spend the rest of the afternoon reading Peeta's letters. His last one was sent only half a week ago, and it was by far the happiest.

_Katniss, I'm coming home! Dr. Aurelius is finally letting me go. I'm going to see you this week, Katniss. I'll finally get to see you again. I'm going to see Haymitch, too. Wow. I never thought I'd be happy to see him._

_I'm finally getting out of here. The food _is_ pretty great, but I don't even really care anymore. I'm coming home to you, and that's all that matters._

_Katniss, there's a reason you're not replying any of my letters. Maybe it's because of Gale, maybe it's because of me, or maybe you haven't even read them. But it doesn't matter, because I'll be seeing you soon. I've missed you more than words could ever express. This is the most excited I've been in months._

_I'm finally coming back home, Katniss._

_Peeta_

A wave of guilt washes over me. He was so excited to see me again. And when he finally does, I'm on the ground crying, after going months without a shower. When we do sit down to talk, I walk out on him. I tip my head back and groan. When am I going to stop hurting him?

Before I know it, I'm knocking on his door, still clutching his letter in my hand. When he opens it, his eyes are filled with concern.

"Katniss? Is everything okay? What are you doing here?" He ushers me into the living room and sits down across from me, looking at me expectantly.

Finally, I manage, "I read your letters."

"What?" He looks down at the letter in my hands, and his eyes widen. "All at once?"

I can't help smiling. It does seem hard to believe. There were so many letters. "Yeah. It took me all day, but I got through them."

"So you never read a single one." He laughs and shakes his head. "To think I spent so much time writing all of those…"

I laugh, and soon we're talking like the old friends we are. We talk for the next two hours, laughing hysterically at some points. After some time, he looks down, and goes quiet for a few seconds. I get worried. "Peeta?"

He shakes his head, and tentatively starts, "Are you… ever going to talk about Gale?"

My heart sinks, for more than one reason. I do not want to think about Gale. I do not want to open the floodgates of pain that have been completely forgotten about for the last couple of hours. But what scared me was the look in Peeta's eyes when he asked. He looked scared, pained, hurt, so many things.

He still loves me.

I groan inwardly. What else was I expecting? I knew that. I'd known from the start that he wouldn't have any chances to meet anyone new in the Capitol. I knew that he would come back and fight for me. Even when I saw him yesterday, I knew he still loved me. But seeing his eyes like that… I feel horrible.

And suddenly, millions of pictures of Gale flash through my mind. Gale throwing blackberries at me while mocking Capitol accents. Gale hugging me before I left for my first Games. Gale picking me up in the small wooden house by the lake after I'd asked him if he wanted to run away with me. Gale trying to make sure that I was safe every step of the way.

Everything in me wanted to stand up and leave, but I owed it to Peeta not to do that again. I manage to look into his eyes and say, "What's there to talk about?"

"Where is he?" Peeta asks gently, obviously knowing that this is a hard topic for me.

"District 2." My voice is flat.

"Do you know how he is?"

"He has a good job. He's helping to rebuild some of the damage that was done during the war."

"Oh." Silence. "Have you seen him?"

I shoot something of a glare in his direction. "I've been holed up at home for the last half a year."

"Katniss…" Whatever he's trying to say, he's having difficulty getting it out. "You have to talk to him. Make it right with him. You guys had no closure. And unless you really hated me, you probably didn't read any of his letters, either."

My first reaction is to be angry. But then I consider who this is coming from, and I eye him suspiciously. "You really want me to talk to him?"

He bites his lip, then nods. "He's your best friend, Katniss."

I nod, my eyes stinging with tears. Why is Peeta doing this? Why am I feeling like this? Why am I so reluctant to talk to Gale?

I slowly stand up, thank Peeta for the great chat, excuse myself and make my way back home. When I fall asleep, I still have a wrenching pain in my chest with Gale's name on it.


	4. Recovery

**Do I always have to start this way?**

**I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

The week that follows is somewhat better than the last few months. I'm waking up a little earlier, taking showers every other day, and actually carrying real conversations with people. I even call my mother.

The phone call I share with my mother is an emotional, tear-filled few hours. I'm not even sure how it started. One second I was eating breakfast, looking at her pile of letters. The next I'm cradling a phone to my ear, wiping the tears from my face as I dial her number. It seems that most of the things I choose to do nowadays are involuntary reflexes.

She's doing fine. She's working hard. She's still in District 4, and apparently there are still plenty that need to be cared for, even after so long. She told me about the cries she hears the patients make when they think about their loved ones…

She cries when we talk about Prim. We both do. She tells me, between sobs, that the Mockingjay's sister is quite well known around Panem now. She's greatly respected for selflessly putting herself out on the battlefield at such a young age, so eager to save as many people as possible, even knowing that it might cost her her life. Which it did.

My mother says that Prim has her name engraved on a golden plaque that hangs in the hospital lobby. Good. Good. It's the least of what she deserves.

I start visiting Haymitch again. Hazelle has been coming back to clean the place up. If it weren't for her, I'd probably have to wear boots in to keep from stepping on empty bottles of alcohol.

When I get upstairs, there's a plate of hot food in the hallway right outside his door. I sigh, and walk in to find him on the ground with his face buried in fallen sheets. This is the one place that Hazelle can't clean.

"Haymitch. Time to get up." I draw open the curtains that have probably been shut for weeks, then turn around and nudge his ribs with my foot. "Hey, get up." Ignoring his groans, I take him by the shoulders and sit him up. When I let go, he slumps back down again.

I roll my eyes and walk into the bathroom. I find a small bucket under the sink, and fill it with cold water. "Sorry, Haymitch…" I mutter. I pour it on him, and stop the second his eyes open and he starts sputtering, just like he had done the many times I've done this to him before.

"Katniss… I swear you're trying to kill me."

"Haymitch, I don't know how long you've been in here. I don't want to know. But I do know that it's been a while and you're going to rot if you don't get out." I say, tidying his sheets as I talk. "Now get up, eat your breakfast, and _please_, take a shower. You stink."

Haymitch seems a little more awake now. "It's funny, you know," he sits up and looks at me through squinted eyes. "Peeta came in some time ago and told me the same thing. I told him to let you do it for him. Can't remember, but pretty sure he laughed and left." I stare at Haymitch, smiling, waiting. He stares back for a moment, confused, then his eyes widen as the realization hits him. "Peeta!" He stands up, then sits back down again, moving a hand to his head.

I laugh. "Is that a hangover worth a week of drinking?" He groans in response. "Look," I turn around and grab the plate of food that Hazelle left for him, "eat this, and I'll go get Peeta. Okay?" He takes the plate without saying a word.

A few minutes later, I'm back in Haymitch's room with Peeta, smiling as I watch Haymitch try to greet him. Peeta was always his favorite. After a minute of comfortable silence, Haymitch suggests we go downstairs.

We sit in the living room and tell him about what's been happening with us. "You know, a week ago, Katniss looked exactly like you, only she smelled a little worse." Peeta laughs. I laugh with him, and Haymitch shakes his head and smiles. "Well, it was pretty dark without you here. Surprised Katniss is still alive after months without contacting you. She almost lost her mind the last time."

We all look down, each remembering our own horrors from that terrible time period. Peeta, no doubt, revisiting the Capitol torture cells, keeps his mouth shut tight and digs his fingers into the couch. Haymitch must be thinking of the bunker in 13.

I feel myself tense at the memories that flood through my mind. I think of Peeta's white, frail face staring at me through the TV screen, trying to warn us that we would be attacked, and being beaten as a consequence. I think of Gale, trying so hard to be there for me. Slipping me turnips after seeing how hungry I am. Being the first to offer to go rescue Peeta…

I shudder when I recall the feeling I got when I figured out what Snow was doing to Peeta, and how he was using him to get to me. I remember feeling like Buttercup, grasping for something that I knew was there, but forever out of my reach. I remember how I felt when I tried to imagine the world if both Peeta and Gale were silenced. Dead. I remember seeing myself stare out a vast, empty void of nothingness. I remember Haymitch offering to have me sedated until they got back. I can't help but wish I had some morphine in my blood right now.

"So what's Gale been up to?" The sound of Haymitch's voice interrupts my train of thought, and plants a new agony in my heart. I see Peeta's eyes go wide.

"He's been busy," he says, not letting me answer. "No one's contacted him in a while, but that's all about to change. Soon. Sometime soon." He gives Haymitch a look, and in a moment, Haymitch understands. He looks at me.

"Katniss. I'm sure he's fine."

Peeta was always the one that knew what to say, not Haymitch. He didn't see that that might be part of the problem. What if Gale _is_ fine? What if he's getting on perfect since he stopped writing? Maybe even before that? He never mentioned if there was a girl. There must be a girl, he's Gale. Everyone wants him. I mean, he's Gale. More than half of the younger female population wants Gale. Because… because he's Gale!

I groan inwardly. I'm thinking so selfishly, but I can't find the stop button in me. How stupid would it be for me to be missing him so much, when he's not even thinking of me? He's got a life in Two. He's got a job. He's probably got a million girls begging him to follow them to the slag heap of their district.

I don't even realize I'm crying until Haymitch is crouching next to me, arms around my shoulders.

"Haymitch…Haymitch, I-" I feel so helpless, so pathetic, blubbering all over my mentor's shoulder. "It's- he's-" My chest hurts, my stomach aches, and my eyes are stinging.

"Shhh…I know, Katniss. I know." Haymitch rubs my back, ignoring the slime and tears I'm leaving on his sleeve.

"I… he… we never even said goodbye!" I burst out.

"Katniss…" Peeta's voice startles me. I'd completely forgotten he was there. "Katniss, he misses you. I'm sure of it. You'll see him again." I pull away from Haymitch and look up at Peeta. His eyes… he looks so sad. "You were best friends. You were incredibly close. No one can stop loving someone they were close to so fast. Especially if it's you."

I can't begin to imagine how much I must be hurting him. I feel like kicking myself. I keep hurting people! Gale, then Peeta, then Gale, then Peeta, and back and forth it goes. It's like every time I start to feel like I should fix things with one, I start hurting the other.

"In the meantime," he continues, "we're here for you. Both me and Haymitch. We'll eat with you, talk with you, and do everything to make you feel better." I feel Haymitch put his hand on my shoulder, and see him nodding. So that's what they do for the rest of the day. We found some snacks in the kitchen, and a dusty board game that Haymitch claims he never knew existed. Within an hour, they've taken most of my mind off of Gale, and I'm feeling a lot better.

It's dark when we start making our ways home.

**I'm sorry it's a little slow, but I promise there will be more of Gale in the next one. Promise. With a virtual pinky.**


	5. I Heard You

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. If I did… some things might be different.**

**I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a few days. My grandparents flew over for a visit so my family was kind of busy with that and all. I swear I haven't lost motivation for this story yet. Jeez, Gale hasn't even showed up yet. How could I leave it with Gale as a main character…when he isn't even there?**

After I say goodbye to Peeta, I walk right back into a world of nightmares. I see Prim in her last moments, screaming my name, trying to bring me back up. I see Peeta in the hospital room, screaming at Delly, calling me a mutt. I see Gale telling me to shoot straight, and walking out of my room, never to be seen again…

Then I see Gale on fire. Gale set ablaze, chains around his hands and feet. Screaming at the top of his lungs. Telling anyone that would listen to stay away from the mockingjay, from the Capitol's worst muttation yet, from Katniss Everdeen…

He looks up at me, engulfed in flames. His eyes burn right into mine as he dies without saying a word to me, leaving me with nothing but the memory of the hurt and rage on his face when he looked at me.

I wake up in cold sweat. It looks to be about seven in the morning. The faint scent of pine fills the room. Greasy Sae has noticed me trying to get myself together, and decided to get me an air freshener to fix the staleness in my room. Not wanting to leave it, I pull the covers over my head, before thinking better of it and swinging my legs off the side of the mattress.

After a quick shower, I eagerly make my way towards the smell of hot soup and fresh bread. Greasy Sae must've gotten more imports. My mouth begins to water.

I pull up short when I get to the kitchen table.

My breathing is uneven, my hands are trembling, and my legs are about to give way. I want to scream, and cry, and laugh, and then run away as fast as I can. My heart is pounding so hard I can't hear anything else. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm doing. The only thing my mind can register is what _he's_ doing. His head jerks upwards, he looks at me and in two quick strides he's at my side with an arm around me to keep me standing. His lips are moving. He carries me to the sofa. He sits me down. His lips are still moving. They stop. He stares at me for a moment, leaves, and comes back with a glass of water. _Drink_, he mouths to me. Not completely understanding what I'm doing, I take small sips. My heartbeat quietens. My breathing evens out. My ears start functioning again.

But yet I say nothing. I stare at him, look at his dark hair, dark eyes, figure as lean as ever. He's lost weight. He's muscular, though. Still muscular.

Gale silently watches me watch him. He seems to be taking me in now, and I can't quite read his expression. What's he thinking? He looks back into my eyes, then speaks, tentatively.

"Do you hate me?"

He starts with the hardest question. No beating around the bush. Of course not. This is Gale. Gale, my best friend. Gale, my sister's possible murderer. Gale, the boy sitting next to me in my living room, waiting for an answer.

I don't know. _Do_ I hate him? Lately all I've done is worry about him, think about him, have nightmares about him dying, miss him beyond the point of explanation. Yet here he is, right in front of me, and I have no idea what I'm even thinking.

"I…" _I'm an idiot. I have no idea. I can't think of a single thing to say to you, because over the last few months I've thought of too many._

"Okay." He stands up and turns around, ready to leave. His voice cracked as he said it, and a wave of emotion hits me like an avalanche.

"Wait!" Before I know what's happening, I'm hugging him so tight I feel like my limbs could tear apart at any second. He's doing the same, quietly stroking my hair as I sob into his chest.

I pull away. I still don't know what I'm feeling. I still don't know what I'm doing. I'm tired and frustrated and emotional and angry and happy and confused and Gale is standing in my living room and I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

"Why did you come back?" The words have come out, and now they won't stop. "What have you been doing all these months? Where have you been? Where you really actually in District Two? Did you meet anyone? Did Peeta ask you to come back? Why did you come back?"

"Katniss." He shakes his head. "Let's get you something to eat first, then I'll explain."

He ushers me to the kitchen table and watches me drink spoonful after spoonful of soup, stuffing in a mouthful of bread here and there.

"I got your letter." He says finally. He's studying my face so closely, I'm sure this must be some kind of trap or experiment.

"Letter?"

He leans back in his seat, and looks down. "It was your handwriting, Catnip…"

_Catnip. He just called me Catnip again._

"I barely gave myself five minutes to pack. In a second I was on a train back here. Back home."

It takes me a minute to hear what he's saying, and another few seconds to let what he's saying sink in. "Wait. Letter? What did it say?"

He glances up at me, then looks back down again. "It said 'Gale'." He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and slides it towards me. He's right. It is my handwriting. And it does say 'Gale'. My head is spinning with confusion. Suddenly I remember sitting at the table, trying to write back to him, and being completely unable to find the words to say. Waking up the next morning and finding the whole table cleaned up. Part of me wants to laugh out loud.

"Greasy Sae!" I do laugh out loud.

He looks back at me, confused. "What?"

"I read all your letters last week. All in a day. Then I tried to write you back, but I couldn't figure out how to. Then I fell asleep, then I couldn't find it the next day, then I figured Greasy Sae threw it away, but she didn't! She sent it to you, and now you're here…" The thoughts overwhelm me. Then I look back up at Gale, my best friend, the one I've missed so much, and suddenly panic hits. He's lost weight. I've noticed it before, but I'm really noticing it now. He's lost a lot of weight. "Have you eaten?" I spin around and run to the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards, searching for something edible. Then I remember that he just travelled here all the way from District Two. By train. "Is that the only thing you've worn lately? Do you need a shower?" I turn again and start to run upstairs to get him a baggy t-shirt and some shorts if I can find them.

"Katniss," he says. "Katniss."

The feeling of his touch on my shoulder is enough to still me. I turn around and look at him, completely forgetting why I'm standing on the stairs.

"Katniss, I'm fine. You should stop worrying." He manages a weak smile. He's tired. I can tell. "Why don't we just stay downstairs and talk for a bit?"

"Well…alright. Okay. I'm just excited to see you, is all. And a little worried about you, I guess." I frown at him. "You've lost weight."

He laughs, but it sounds a little hollow. "I'm glad you're happy to see me, Katniss." But he doesn't look glad at all. He looks worried, uneasy. His lips are set in a hard line and he's not looking at me.

"What is it?" I try to read him, but come up with nothing. "You're hiding something. There's something you're not wanting to tell me. Tell me."

He frowns, and hesitates before speaking. "Katniss… you're in shock. You don't know what you're feeling. Things have been hard for you lately, and right now, your mind is confused, and in a little bit of a mess." He glances at me for a split second, then looks away again. "In a few days or so, you'll be raging at me." He takes a step back, and studies me, waiting for a reaction. Denial. Hurt. Something.

I have no idea what to say to that.

"Katniss, you got up early today. And judging by the screaming last night, I don't think you slept too well. Why don't you go back up and get some sleep…"

"You were here last night? You heard me?" I can't look at him. I am completely overcome with embarrassment. Half of my nightmares are about him. Who knows what I'm screaming in the middle of the night?

He seems to be interpreting my question in a completely different way. "I'm really sorry I didn't come up to check on you. I just… I thought it would upset you, or scare you, if I showed up next to you at such an hour with a glass of water, trying to tell you it would be okay. I wasn't sure that-"

"It's okay!" I shake my head. "Really, that's fine. Honest. I'm so sorry, though, that I kept you up with my… yeah." Suddenly, I want more than anything to be hiding under my covers in my room that smells like pine. "I think you're right. I'll go take a nap." I smile at him and go upstairs to my bedroom, where I dive under the sheets and hug myself tight. I'm just about to drift off when I recognize Peeta's voice downstairs.

**I hope you liked that! Was it too rushed? Please please review…**


	6. Here To Stay

**I hate having to put disclaimers at the start of every chapter.**

***DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ITS CHARACTERS. THIS APPLIES TO EVERY NEXT CHAPTER IN THIS FANFICTION.***

I bolt upright at the sound of Peeta's voice. Peeta and Gale. Talking. Most probably about me. I push the covers off me and tiptoe out of bed, careful not to make a sound. I slip out my bedroom door and huddle by the top of the stairs, in a corner where they won't be able to see me. Gale is sitting at the kitchen table, and Peeta is still standing. I can't see either of their faces, but I have a feeling I won't need to.

"Well, it took you long enough," Peeta sighs.

"I wasn't sure it's what she wanted."

"How could you ever doubt it?" I can hear the bitterness in Peeta's voice. My heart sinks. I keep hurting him… "She needs you. She loves you. Whether it was your bomb or not, whether she's even forgiven you or not, she loves you. She can't ever stop loving you."

I don't have to be able to see his face to know that his jaw is tightening. There's a short pause. "Not the way I want her to."

I risk sticking my head out from behind the corner to look at them. Peeta sighs and pulls up a chair. "Katniss can't survive without you. That's how we know she'll choose you." The sadness in his voice breaks my heart. How did I do so much damage to such a strong person?

"She can't survive without you, either." Gale leans back in his chair.

Peeta looks at him and shakes his head. "Honestly, that isn't even the point right now. She's unhappy. She's empty. Sure, she cleaned up after I got back. But she's still broken."

Gale runs a hand through his hair, and closes his eyes. After a moment, he asks, "What happened, exactly, after they sent me away?"

"Not much. We spent hours a day in court, fighting and trying to negotiate. She was locked up. The avoxes that stood by her room said they heard her singing." Just for a second, a hint of a smile flashes across Gale's face. "We kept getting witnesses in, made more speeches, had more meetings with lawyers, and finally they settled on sending her back here as long as she keeps up her therapy." Gale raises an eyebrow. "Which she hasn't been doing." I can't help smiling when I see Gale holding back a grin. My defiance is one thing that will never change, and he knows it.

Gale looks down. "I wish I could've helped…"

Peeta shrugs. "I guess they didn't want you around when they left. You know, seeing as how you pointed a gun at her?" He sounds agitated. So does Gale when he responds.

"She wanted it! Couldn't you hear her screaming? I thought they were going to torture her! So did she!" I suck my breath in. He was going to do it. He was going to save me. He was still going to honor our agreement, even after I didn't.

"But they _didn't_ torture her. They kept her alive, and they let her go."

"They kept her in solitary confinement and left her to go insane!"

"But what if you _had_ shot her? What if the peacekeepers didn't get you in time? She would be gone right now. We wouldn't even have to be having this conversation. She would be dead. And we wouldn't even have to opportunity to try to fix things for her."

This gets him. He groans and tilts his head back. "Fine," he says after a minute. "Fine. What happened next? After she got home?"

"Nothing." Peeta's voice softens. "She just…she came home. And she was a wreck. Still is, from what I can tell." Ow. "We asked Haymitch to check up on her once in a while, but we should've known that he wouldn't be sober for a second." He shakes his head. "He's been through a lot, too."

Gale closes his eyes again. Then he stands up, frustrated. "I can't… I'm such a… Why did I even…?" He's pacing back and forth, wringing his hands running them through his hair, occasionally stopping to smack the wall. Gale is not Peeta. Expressing himself never came quite as easily as it did for Peeta. "I'm an idiot!" He grabs his hair with both of his hands and lets out a shout of frustration. Peeta stays seated, watching him. "I got too into it. I was so angry at the Capitol, I just wanted to break them with everything I had. I didn't even think about what would've happened, or what the consequences would be." He lets out a string of obscenities, something that he tries not to do so often. My eyes sting. I do my best to keep the sobs in my throat. "How is it that I was trying so hard to be there for her, I was trying so hard to be her savior, and I ended up being the one to break her?" Even if I hadn't been spying on them, surely this noise would have woken me by now. But he's not done. "And even then, I was selfish. I could only think about how much I wanted her to love me. How much I _still_ want her to love me. I spend every waking minute thinking about her, how I'll never get her, how much I love her, how much she must hate me, how I killed her sister. I didn't come down to visit her because I thought she didn't love me, but I should've visited to check if she was okay! Because she _isn't_ okay! And I can't stand seeing her this way. I can't stand knowing that _I_ did it. That _I'm _the one that caused her to be so…so torn up!" He slams his fist into the wall. "_I broke her._" He lets out a yell and sinks to the floor.

There's a short silence that follows. "But none of that means that she doesn't still need you." Peeta says finally. His voice is soft. "Gale, when was the last time you saw her? What was the last thing you said to her?"

"I told her to shoot straight," he mutters.

"You didn't even get to say goodbye." Peeta says for him, waiting for Gale's nod of confirmation. "Now look at me and tell me that the lack of closure didn't kill you every time you thought of her." Gale keeps his mouth shut. "That's how she feels. There was no closure. Eventually, she would have lost her mind because of it, and it would have driven her to her grave. But now you're back." Peeta doesn't sound too happy about this. "Now you're back, and you can make things right. Whether you're going to stay after that or not…" he hesitates for a moment. "I'll leave that up to you. But the way you left things weren't right. Now do me a favor…no, do Katniss a favor and stay by her. Go hunting with her. Fix things between the two of you. When she's completely healed, you're free to leave."

Gale stays silent for a minute, his face unreadable. Then he stands up. "And what if I choose not to leave?" His eyes stay on Peeta, not wavering for a second. The challenge is unquestionable.

"Then I'm ready to fight for her." Peeta stands up, regards him, turns around and leaves.


	7. In Your Arms

**Haha it's funny, because I have a crush on this guy. And my friend figured it out, and she insists that we need to nickname him something so that when someone asks her who I like she won't have to be a horrible liar and stutter out 'no one'. Now he's nicknamed Gale.**

**A part of me feels wrong. But I'd totally love to have a crush on someone named Gale. Or not. It's absolute torture, seeing how beautiful they both are.**

I stay frozen in my corner, overwhelmed. Gale is going to stay to fight for me. Peeta's going to fight just as hard for me. I shake a little as I recall Haymitch's words. _You could live a hundred lifetimes and still not deserve him, you know._ He never could've guessed how much this applied for both Peeta _and_ Gale.

It takes me a minute to remember that Peeta is gone, and Gale is no longer talking to anyone anymore. I drop my train of thought and dash back into the room, closing the door as quickly and quietly as possible. I dive under the covers and turn my back to the door. Sure enough, I feel his weight on the edge of my bed less than a minute later. After a moment's hesitation, he pulls both his legs up over the edge of the bed, and turns to lie next to me. His arm slips around my waist and I am completely overcome with the sense of warmth and security. How can someone be so strong and so gentle at the same time? There's something so comforting about lying there with him, pretending to be asleep, locked in the safety of his arms.

But something about it is terrifying at the same time. Something about this doesn't seem quite so normal. Yes, I do feel safe. Just like I do when I'm with him in the woods. But I feel vulnerable. We've stepped into completely different territory now. This is no longer just Gale and Katniss, hunting partners, best friends, fake cousins…it's starting to become Gale and Katniss as more than that…

I desperately hope he can't feel my heart flutter in a completely un-Katniss manner. What is going on? This whole thing, Gale lying next to me with his arm around my waist, breathing in time with me, listening to me sleep… It's so much more intimate than anything we've ever had. He had kissed me once, but I had been confused, and surprised, and I would hardly call it 'intimate' since I didn't know a thing about what I was feeling. Then again, I still don't. My heart is racing and I can't grasp why…

"Katniss?" he whispers. "You awake?"

His breath tingles on my cheek. I want to turn around and answer him, talk to him, ask him more about what I didn't know when I was in solitary confinement. But a part of me that I don't understand holds me back, makes me pretend I'm still asleep. I snuggle deeper into his arms.

He lets out a soft chuckle. I can picture him smiling and shaking his head. "Catnip, when I was in Two…" he pauses, as if thinking of what to say to my supposed-to-be-sleeping self. "Okay. Remember when we were there for your 'Mockingjay duties'? Every day for the last few months, I couldn't look anywhere without thinking of how I sent an avalanche over the nut. And how…how willing I was to seal the entrance and kill everyone in it." He draws in a long, slow, breath, and I find myself doing the same. "I can never forget how you didn't seem to like that idea. You wanted to keep them alive. You were so selfless…you still are, Catnip. And later, in the square, you could have shot that man, but you didn't. He had his gun pointed right at you. Every camera was watching you, waiting for you to kill him. But you didn't. You stayed right there and talked to him. You tried to negotiate. You didn't want to kill him." He takes another shaky breath. "That's when I…that's when me and everyone else around knew, _really_ knew, that you weren't being the Mockingjay just for publicity. You were the Mockingjay because you cared. You genuinely wanted the best for the people of Panem. You put their lives ahead of your own, and you kept doing that, even when we went to the Capitol later on. These people, you fought so hard for them, Katniss…" His arms tighten around me. "I almost lost you because of it. You could have died. And every time I thought I was about to lose you…" he shakes his head, obviously trying his best to keep his voice even. "I could never lose you. Never. There wasn't a day that went by in District Two where I didn't think about you and regret everything I did wrong. I'm so sorry, Catnip. I…" His voice wavers and he lets himself trail off for a moment. "You inspire me. You make me want to fix everything that I took part in destroying." He stops again. Eloquence isn't really his thing. It's not mine, either. "Not a lot of people can do that. You…it's like you…it's like you struck a match and put this fire in my chest and…" He groans in frustration at his inability to convey his feelings. I can almost hear him wishing for Peeta's gift of speech. He remains silent for a while, but I can tell he's not done.

"It's you, Katniss. It's always been you. And from here on now it will only ever be you." He whispers.

I turn over to put my face in his chest, disrupting the silence to distract him from my uneven breathing. Best friends out the window, I think. He still loves me. Of course he does. What did I think when he challenged Peeta? That he was fighting for our friendship? No! He knows that he wouldn't have to fight for that. He's still in love with me. _Why_ is he still in love with me?

I groan inwardly. He deserves better. Part of me wishes that he did find some girl in District Two, that he never acted on a letter with just one word on it, that I was still drunk and smelly and rotting away in a stale room piled with mess.

Involuntarily, my mind flickers to Peeta. I think of the times after the Games when he lay next to me and held me to save me from my nightmares. We both needed saving from the memories that won't fade. Peeta said he would fight for me. Peeta still loves me. Poor Peeta, I keep putting him through this. Why won't Haymitch just tell him to go find a better girl that actually deserves him?

Because the reason he's so wonderful is because he cares so much about people that are beneath him.

I can't keep my mind on Peeta for long, though. I'm wrapped in Gale's arms, and he's planning on staying for a while. That in itself it pretty distracting.

I slowly open my eyes to the late morning light. It's still not too late in the day. On impulse, I nudge Gale's eyes open, longing and nostalgia growing with every passing second. "Gale," I say, watching him open his eyes.

"Hey, Catnip," he smiles. "What's going on?"

"Gale," I smile, giving him one last nudge. "Let's go hunting."

**Oh shoot. Was that too sappy? I hope you like… **


	8. History Repeating

**I'm trying to update more often :) Haha I have awful sleeping habits XD**

I can't help smiling as I crawl under the electric fence. I haven't gone hunting at all since I've come back. I'm sure to be a little rusty; no doubt Gale will tease me about that. But none of that really matters. I'm here with him. Just for this short period in time, we are the boy and the girl in the woods again. I stand before the trees and take in my old second home. I feel so much better than I have in ages. The air is so much fresher than it is in the District. A new adrenaline that I haven't felt for a long while courses through my veins.

I grab Gale's arm and pull him to our old meeting place. I can't explain it, but it's as if it's calling me. When we finally push behind the bushes that have kept it hidden for so many years, I'm not sure what to do anymore. I stand and stare, letting the memories run wild in my mind. Reaping day, the day I was sent off to my first Games. I'd met him here, and we'd shared the goat cheese that Prim gave us, threw each other berries, mocked the Capitol…

"And may the odds…" the words pull me back into reality faster than lightning. I turn around on instinct and catch the blackberry in my mouth.

"Be _ever_ in your favor!" I finished. We laughed, but there was something heavy about it. This wasn't just a joke anymore. It had become my reality in the arena, and Gale's from the other side of the screen. It's hard to joke about something that almost took your life. Twice. I look at Gale, and he must be thinking the same thing. I manage a weak smile, which he returns. But both our moods have darkened slightly, and we're starting to take a walk through the past.

"I never asked you this. What…how exactly did they show it on screen? During the 74th Hunger Games?" I remember wondering what he thought about the star-crossed lovers from District 12, and if he was even watching at all.

Gale thinks about his answer for a second. "It started with the countdown at the Cornucopia. They showed close-ups of all of your faces. I could see the wheels turning in your head. You were going to run in and grab a bow and arrows, just like I told you to," he smiles. "Then they showed Peeta. He was looking at you, and he seemed…disapproving. He shook his head. You noticed." There's a slight trace of bitterness in Gale's voice as he says this. "I'm not sure why but…you got off the plate a second later than you could have. That never made sense to me. You have reflexes like no one else. What happened, Katniss?"

"I was distracted." I wave my hand to dismiss it. "Go on."

"So they were trying to show as much as they could at the same time. There were the careers fighting for the big stuff, and I think the District 1 girl got your bow and arrows. Then they showed you and a guy from District…nine, I think? Nine. Anyways, you both wanted it, but someone got him in the back with a knife. And he died. That was the first death." I grimace at the memory, then nod for him to continue. "They showed you running off for a few seconds, then they went back to the bloodbath. We didn't see you for some time until the next day, after the Peeta killed some girl – from Eight, I think - that didn't think before lighting a fire. He was with the careers. Everyone but his Dad thought he'd gone insane, becoming allies with the Careers and all. But the kids from Districts One and Two were both talking about wanting to kill you, then they left, and then you hopped out of the tree and starting smiling. I swear, Catnip, you made it look like a movie." He laughs. "Then there were ridiculous walls of Gamemaker fire, and you got it really bad in the leg. There was you climbing up a tree, dropping a tracker jacker nest on the careers, getting the bow…and of course, Peeta running back with his friends, got all big eyed when he saw you, and they went crazy with the part when he yelled at you to get up and ren. It was close ups on his face, then your face, then you running, then him back with the Careers…and they sliced his leg right down to the bone. One of the bloodiest parts, if you asked me." Gale cringes. "You blacked out for a couple days. Then there was you and Rue…" He looks at me warily, unsure of how I would react to her name. Unwilling to show the pang I felt, I tighten my jaws and wait for him to continue. "They showed you both plotting against the Careers, then they switched to Peeta. He'd dragged himself into a completely different part of the woods than you. He woke up around the same time you did, and he completely covered himself in mud. The second he closed his eyes I didn't know where he was anymore. He tried to move, though. Tried to look for you. But he was too weak, and he knew it. A leg cut up that bad…" Gale seems genuinely upset at this memory. He subconsciously moves a hand downwards to his leg, and takes a moment before he carries on. "Rue was flitting around, setting fires, and you blew up the Career's food stash. When you got up again, you started poking around your ears like you heard flies. Like there was something in it. What was that about?"

"I was deaf in my left ear. I don't know what they did, but the Capitol fixed it when I got out. But that doesn't matter. What next?"

"Catnip…" his voice quiets a little. "Well, you looked for Rue. And then…that District One boy…"

My heart breaks. Rue. I see her jumping through the trees, running soundlessly over the leaves on the ground, leaning forward just a little when she stands as if ready to take flight…

Then Prim. Lovely Prim. Beautiful Prim. The little girl before her sister was sent off to fight in the Hunger Games. Treating that ugly cat like a child. Nurturing her goat back to complete health. Full of love and innocence and a purity so priceless… A purity I tried to protect. A purity I failed to protect. My legs give way and I'm on my knees, crying, saying her name. I can feel Gale on his knees next to me, hugging me, trying to apologize…

I can't think anymore. I can't breathe. I don't try to hold back the sobs. I don't even know what I'm saying. I can barely make out Gale's voice through the tears, "Katniss, I'm sorry…"

That does it. "She's dead, Gale!" I stand up and scream at him. "She's dead! She's gone! Both of them are gone! Rue, at the hands of the Capitol, and my sister, at the hands of those that tried to _stop_ the Capitol! That's _us_, Gale. _US!_ You killed her! And it's not even just you, really. It was me, too! If I'd just shot myself in the arena, if I'd only done everything that Snow had asked me to do, _she would be alive!_ But she isn't! Gale, she's dead!" My lungs feel like they are going to burst. I pound on Gale's chest as hard as I can, willing him to fall to the ground, clutching himself in pain. Instead, he stands and lets me hit him, wincing every now and then. "Between the two of us, we pretty much put that bomb on her. It wasn't just your fault, it was mine! Gale, I killed my sister!" I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just shouting my thoughts aloud and letting everything else go. I collapse. My breathing is shallow and rapid. Gale slowly gets down and rests my head on his shoulder. We stay like that for what seems like the longest time. "Prim…" I whisper, again and again, her death on repeat in my head.

It was my job to protect her. I was supposed to do everything in my power to protect her, and I failed. Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay, the icon for our 'freedom', failed to prevent the death of her own sister. But no, I'd failed long before that. I'd left her at home to watch me starve, and fight, and kill other children. I'd left her twice. She'd been forced to watch her own sister - her role model, her hero – drop tracker jacker nests on people, shoot arrows through people's bodies, fight and scream like a madwoman. She'd had to watch me pretend to be in love with a boy who was really in love with me. Watch me kiss him and snuggle with him in caves and feed him soup. As if it wasn't enough, I defied the Capitol because I was too selfish to give up my own life. I caused enough trouble to stir and uprising against President Snow. I'd put her through the experiences of bombings, underground bunkers, watching her District burn to ashes, and 13's sorry excuses for meals. I'd done everything I could, and I ended up driving her to her grave. Beautiful, wide eyed Prim…

"What did they show when she died?" I ask suddenly, sitting up.

"What?" Gale looks back at me, confused.

"Rue. When she died. What did they show on screen?"

"You shot the boy behind her, and you held her, and you sang to her… you sang to her until she died. Then you pressed three fingers to your lips and raised them forward," he answers warily.

"Nothing else?" He shakes his head no.

I look down and shake my head. Her family never got to see me put a wreath of flowers on her. The Capitol must have gotten rid of them before they sent her body home. Poor Rue. She was far too young to be sent into the games. She had a whole life ahead of her. She wasn't meant to die that way.

I'd always wanted to avenge her somehow. I thought that taking down the Capitol would do it, but it didn't. Something still feels wrong. I can still hear her voice in my head. _You have to win._ Haven't I won? She was talking about the Games. She didn't know anything about the rebellion, but even so, haven't I won that too? There is nothing left to win. But her words still ring in my head.

_You have to win._

Her dying wish.

But I'd done it. I'd done what she'd wanted. She wanted me to win the Games. I know for a fact that that's what she was talking about. But I can't shake the sense that there's something that I still have to do…

Just then, Peeta and Haymitch come bursting through the trees. Me and Gale both sit up, startled. How did they find us here in the first place? Peeta's jaw tightens when he sees Gale, and Gale does the same. Haymitch seems to have bigger things on his mind.

"Get up. Get up, now. We just got news from Paylor." He shakes his head. "None of this is over yet."


	9. Back to the Capitol

**I'm sorry…I know I've been taking a while to update. That was because I was having problems viewing my traffic stats and other parts of the site starting messing up a bit for me…but now it's magically returned to normal. :D**

**Dang. Sorry for leaving you so long with a cliffhanger. **

"What do you mean, 'none of this is over yet'?" It takes me less than a second to get myself oriented and understand that this has to be something Capitol related. Between the look on his face and the words he decided to speak, it said enough about the situation. But I need to know more.

"I don't know."

"WHAT?" I stand up now. "How can you say something like 'none of this is over yet', and not know what you're talking about?"

"I'm serious, Katniss. That's what Paylor said. She called, she said to catch the next train to the Capitol because 'none of this is over yet'." Haymitch seems a little more himself when he says that.

I think as hard as I can, try to come up with a theory as to why we're needed there. I can't. There shouldn't be anything wrong anymore. But then again, this _is_ Panem, and this _is_ my life. So far it hasn't given me much slack at all.

"Well then." Gale speaks up when he sees that I'm not going to. "I guess we're going back to the Capitol." He looks Peeta right in the eyes as he says this. Peeta stares back. Haymitch purses his lips and walks away. He obviously isn't looking forward to this much more than I am.

A couple hours later, we're sitting on my bed in the train carriage. We'd come together to discuss what might be going on, but ended up accomplishing nothing. Haymitch's eyebrows are pushed together, and his forehead is creased. He looks at no one, he says nothing. He just sits in thought. I do the same, huddled in the corner under my sheets. Could the games be back? By some sick, twisted reason, someone is blackmailing Paylor to restart the games? And have leaders from the rebellion fight? Leaders like me? And Gale? And Peeta? Maybe it wouldn't even be called the Hunger Games anymore. Maybe it would be just fighting, as a sport. Two people in a small piece of land the size of a football field, forced to kill each other. Like a mini version of the Games. Or maybe Snow didn't die or he resurrected or he had evil people with powers working with him and they put life back into him and he wanted revenge and maybe he even had family that are planning to help him get revenge and take back Panem and drive the country back into pain and starvation and depression and Paylor is expecting us to stop it and…

"Guys, I want to get some sleep. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I look at them and wait for them to leave. Haymitch studies me for a second, then nods and gets up. Gale gives my hand a small squeeze.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Catnip. I promise." He leaves.

Peeta gets up, too, then stops in the doorway. "You'll be okay, Katniss," he says. "Everything will work out fine." He hesitates, like he has more to say, then decides against it and walks out.

"Remember who your enemy is." Haymitch's voice rings in my head.

"You have to win." Rue's words echo along with his.

Suddenly everyone I know, everyone I've ever met, seems to have a microphone into my head. Their words of advice, pleads, even words about the Capitol that Gale had said when we used to hunt in the woods, fill my mind. I find myself spinning in blackness, only able to hear the things that people have told me before. I fall to my knees, screaming…

When I look up again, I'm in an arena that I've never seen before. The Cornucopia stands in the middle of a circle of people. I'm certain there are weapons hidden in the tall sea of grass that lies before me. The horn blows, but no one moves. No one wants to. No one even _can_. My instincts tell me to make a break for the nearest bow, but my feet feel fastened to the plate I'm standing on. I look around at the other contestants, refusing to move, their faces grim. I see Finnick.

I call his name. He sees me, but he says nothing. He has a piece of rope in his right hand. "Finnick!" I try again. Everything in me wants to jump off my plate, wade through the tall grass and embrace my friend. But I can't. I begin to panic when I realize that my feet cannot be moved. Somehow, they've been fastened on the spot. "Finnick!" I scream louder. He looks at me with the saddest expression. "Finnick!"

Then his plate blows up.

I'm too horrified to make a sound. My voice cuts itself off, my screams are stuck in my throat. Then I see Boggs on the next plate, looking more intense than I've ever seen him. I want to cry out his name, to tell him to run, but he explodes as well. Madge is on the plate next to him. And I see it. All around me, people I know are locked in place, forced to wait for their death. The plates blowing up one by one, in order. _Tick tock_, Wiress voice rings in my ears.

I see Gale. Right next to me. Darius has just exploded beside him. I burst into tears, begging for him to leave, to get out of there and run as fast as he can. He turns around and looks at me. "I won't let anything happen to you, Catnip," he promises. "I'll protect you. No matter what."

I'm still watching his body burst into flames when I sit up in bed. I can't distinguish the tears from sweat pouring down my face. I pull my knees to my chest and sob. Somehow, I would manage to get us all killed. We're still on the train, and I already know that. Everyone is always doing everything to save me, and I'm always the one to get them in trouble.

It takes me a minute to realize that Gale is sitting next to me, holding me and rubbing my back. "It was just a dream, Katniss. Just a bad dream. Everything's okay." This makes me cry even harder.

"No, Gale. No, it won't. We're all going to die, and it's going to be my fault."

"Katniss." He pulls away and holds me at arm's length. "No. You keep blaming yourself for everything. You keep blaming yourself for everyone's problems. You're holding yourself responsible for things that you are NOT responsible for. _Stop that_."

I shiver when I remember Finnick being blown to pieces in my dream, and in reality.

"Hey, you should get dressed. We arrive in five minutes." He says. Before he leaves, he looks at me once more and gives me a reassuring smile. I can't tell if this makes me feel better or worse.

About an hour later, we're sitting at a large oval table with Paylor at the very end. "I'm so sorry to have to make you drop everything and just come here, but…"

"The Games are back, aren't they?" I can't stop myself. The words have come out, and more are on their way. "Or at least something like the Games. Something happened and the Hunger Games have to come back and somehow that involves all of us."

Paylor shakes her head. "If only it were that simple, Katniss. If it were just about the birthing of a new Hunger Games I wouldn't have called you here. I could have stopped it myself. It's a…different situation, but not too unlike what we've experienced before.


	10. Filed Away Somewhere

**GUYS I HAD NO IDEA I REPEATED CHAPTER 9. OOPS. Thank you springheeledjack for telling me :P okay. you guys can read now haha.**

* * *

><p><strong>I'm really sorry that I took so long to update. I had a bunch of tests last week, and I was away the whole weekend for a youth retreat, and I'm about to go for a two week vacation with my parents for Songkran (it's this Thai holiday, lol). I'll try to update when I can, though. I might do some writing on the plane.<strong>

We all stare at her, waiting for her to go on. Even Haymitch looks more sober and attentive than I've ever seen him be before.

Paylor chooses her words carefully. "It's…similar to the rebellion we just had not long ago."

"And?" asks Peeta. He leans forward in his seat. I can hear his feet shifting back and forth on the carpet, trying to help him calm himself. "Another rebellion? Why would anyone want to lead another rebellion so soon? You're doing a great job. They haven't had enough time to get sick of you. No one would have any reason to overthrow you."

She grimaces, as if wishing what he said were true. "District 13," is all she says, and we understand immediately. We sit in overwhelmed silence until Paylor brings us back. "As you might imagine, they…aren't too happy about Coin's assassination. The rebellion was something they had been working on for many years. Coin was going to be the leader of all Panem. It was a fixed decision that no one wanted to change. When you came along…" she subconsciously picks up and pen and twirls it between her fingers. "They saw you as an adolescent who enjoyed the taste of victory a little too much. They think you became power hungry. They're positive that you devised a plan to get rid of Coin, and that all of us had some secret pact to get rid of her and so we could be the most important people in Panem."

I really am going to get everyone killed. District 13 specialized in nuclear power, nuclear plants, nuclear weaponry…

"And how do you know all this? Have they been contacting you?" Peeta looks distressed. The rest of us probably do, too.

"I was trying to log back into 13's network to see if there were any weapons that still needed to be disposed of." We all turn and notice Beetee for the first time. I had no idea he was here. "I found it…odd, that it was locked. The passcode had changed. I had a hunch…so I hacked it. And there are files of things that should not exist. 13's entire network and communication system is still completely active, and is still being used, which I found to be unusual. I looked around, and I found out that they're planning to make an attack next week. They've been making an excessive amount of weapons. There are detailed plans of everything they've made, everything they're going to make. They're even taking old designs we used on the Capitol, and improving them." He makes a nervous glance in my direction before continuing. "They have…special targets."

I'm still trying to process all of this when I feel Gale's arms tense in the seat next to mine. "You say they have files? Of all the weapons that were made and used?"

"Yes. Detailed drawings and even holograms of every gun, every bow, even the incomplete ideas that people had. All with the most precise information."

"Information like…who might have come up with the idea?" I'm hit by a wave of panic when I understand where he's going with this. I can see the wheels turning in his head. I can't let him be a part of this. He doesn't need to be. If he can get away safe, I am going to make sure he does. I almost let him die once. It's not going to happen again.

"Gale doesn't have anything to do with this, right?" It's more of a statement than a question. My eyes never leave Paylor's. "He does not have to be a part of this. They aren't after him. Are they?"

"Well, they think he _might_ have something to do with it…" Beetee speaks up for Paylor. "They didn't buy the whole 'cousin' act for one second. Neither did I, to be honest." Both the boys next to me tense up.

"Gale doesn't have to come." I say firmly. "There is no need for him to be dragged into this. He has a mother and younger siblings to protect. _He cannot be involved_."

"I can't not be," Gale says directly to me. I swivel my chair around and glare at him. His jaw is set, eyes are hard, expression is determined. An exact mirror of how I must look. "We've looked out for each other for years, and this isn't where I stop."

"You don't need to prove anything to me." My eyes never waver for a second.

"Maybe it's not just for you."

"It's the past. I don't still hold you responsible for it."

"Deep inside, you know that's not true. But what about me? Maybe I need to know this, too?"

"Your dad's as dead as mine is. How would your mother feel about losing her eldest son as well?"

"Have you thought about Rory? Have you thought about how he was friends with Prim, and that maybe he cared about her more than he dared to show, and maybe I have something to prove to him too?"

"He's your brother. He understands. You risked your life at the Capitol before, and you're not doing it anywhere else again."

"I need to know this, Katniss. I can't live my life not knowing if it was mine or not. I need this. So do you."

I turn and groan into my hands. It would hurt me more if he were dead. But he isn't giving up. He keeps going.

"She was everything to you, Katniss. You devoted your entire life to feeding her, protecting her, trying to treat her with a few odd luxuries here and there. You volunteered to participate in the Hunger Games so that she wouldn't have to go. The only reason you fought to come back was for Prim. And all that, just to have her killed. By what could have been _my_ bomb. I need to know if I deserve your forgiveness, Catnip." His voice cracks at the use of my nickname. "Not being able to be certain kills me just as much as it's killing you."

Hot tears well up in my eyes at the memories of Prim…lovely Prim, beautiful Prim, young, kind, loving Prim… Everybody loved my sister. No one _couldn't_ love her. Such a young, innocent girl with a heart as pure as hers… She had more bravery than any girl her age could possibly have had. She was ready to go to the Games. She didn't want me to volunteer. She didn't expect me to volunteer. She was going to go as tribute. Then she volunteered to go out on the battlefield, knowing it could cost her life. Out in the open, out in the Capitol, saving lives, trying to save me, being set on fire…

"She's dead, Katniss," Gale whispers, his eyes softening. "She's dead, and it's my fault. As far as I know, it's my fault. If there's even the slightest chance that it isn't…I need to _take_ that chance."

I can't handle this. "No!" I shout. I stand up and pound his chest. "It is _not_ your fault! _It's not your fault!_ She _wanted _to go out there! You didn't _know_ she was going to die! _Coin_ did!" I can't breathe anymore. I can't stop the sobs from coming. I can't stop thinking about my sister turning into a pillar of fire. My sister being the girl on fire instead of me. Suddenly, I despise the flaming cloak that Cinna made me wear before my first Games.

Gale has me in his arms, rubbing my back and apologizing into my hair. Before I know it, Peeta is standing beside me, hands on my back and shoulder, saying things to calm me down. I love them both for it, but it's Haymitch who gets me back on track.

"You're right, sweetheart. Coin killed Prim. You killed Coin. Coin's followers want to kill you. Panem is about to slide right back into hell." He's blunt, but he isn't mean about it. "Do you want a drink before we get going?"


	11. Planning

**I know that there've been long breaks between updates. I'm really sorry about that. Still overseas, so it's hard to find time to write. I know I said this on the last chapter, but in case you didn't see it, someone told me that I repeated it, so I changed it to the updated version. If you haven't read it, go read it first :P Haha. Enjoy!**

Out of all of us, Gale is the most eager to get started. Our contributions seem like nothing compared to his elaborate plans and ideas. My fingers dig into the bottom of my leather chair as I watch him structure attack sequences, troops, anything that we're going to need. I can't help but remember him in District 2, making the suggestion that we block the exits to the nut, openly stating that he wouldn't mind killing off every last person in there. The fear that he will return to be something so violent, so heartless, almost overwhelms me.

But it doesn't.

Something about the way he talks now is different. It isn't as cold as before. His voice doesn't contain the same rage he had before. For the next four hours, one half of me is absorbed in the planning and discussion, and the other is watching Gale intently, studying his eyes, tone, gestures… I hear him talk about using different methods. I hear him talk about strategies that he says he never shared with 13. I watch his hands draw beautiful, elaborate sketches of different forms of weapons that he remembers seeing in 13. I notice the crease in his forehead as he and Beetee try to improve it. But I can feel Peeta getting antsy beside me. Finally, he speaks up.

"Where are we all supposed to be while this is happening?"

We all look between Paylor and Gale. Paylor nods at him, signaling for him to continue. Gale turns and looks between me and Peeta, a pained expression on his face. "Beetee and I, of course, will be in 13 searching their inventory and learning more about their plans. You all need to be back here to receive what we send back to you. If anything in our current plans needs to be changed, you will be the team to do it."

"You're going in alone?" The sudden increase in Peeta's voice makes me jump. "_Just_ the two of you?"

"We'll have someone send us in a hovercraft."

"You'll die with no backup."

"You need more information."

"What about Beetee's technological skills? Or your leadership? We need those too!"

"You're all smart enough." Gale's tone is strong and even. He has no doubts about this. I stare at him as I realize what he's saying. I'm going to lose him. I'm going to lose him forever. He's going to steal information and get himself killed and he doesn't even care. My heart starts pounding, but no words come out of my mouth.

Peeta takes one look at my face and stands up. "I'm going. You need to stay back here."

Why does he think this is helping?

"It's just some information," says Gale. "I'll be back in no time. We already know what 13 looks like. We know our way around. We can park the hover craft in the forest nearby and escape before anyone notices."

"Assuming you do manage to come back," Peeta doesn't sound convinced, but he sits back down. "What happens next?"

Gale glances at me, and leans back in his chair. I don't like this. I don't like how this looks. "We can try to get rid of 13 completely, but I'm sure we would all prefer avoiding that, if possible. If we can't figure out who's in charge before their attack, we'll keep looking." He pauses. "If all else fails…we have an old fashioned battle, just like in the history books."

We've read in school about our ancestors and their history. But we've also read about manuscripts and old, old books that have been uncovered about times far before even our ancestors. There were people in a land called Europe, and we learned that certain countries once had wars on large, empty fields. Each side would stand on one end, neatly arranged like chess pieces. Someone would shout "charge!" Then each army would run forward, and kill as many from the other side as possible, until the leader is murdered, or one side surrenders. There was always a leader, though. Always someone on the front line, bringing everyone out, willing to be the first to die…

"No." I say. I swivel my seat around to face him. One look into my eyes and he knows what I'm talking about.

"They don't want me." He leans forward, determined grey eyes staring though mine. "They want _you_, Katniss. They want revenge on _you_. They want to kill _you_. You, Peeta, and Paylor. You are their three main targets. We have to protect you."

"I'm the mockingjay!" I burst out. "_I_ should be on the front line, sacrificing myself for the country. It's _my_ mess, this whole thing is _my_ fault, _I_ should be paying for it, not you!"

Before I know it, Gale's hands are gripping my shoulders, holding me up. "Exactly. _You are the Mockingjay_. As soon as they get you, everything else falls apart."

"He's right, Katniss." Being sober must be killing Haymitch. He fingers the silver bottle opener in front of him, and goes on. "Protecting you three is our top priority."

I can't listen to this. I get up and walk out of the conference room, grabbing an open bottle of liquor on the way out. I hear Gale groan. As soon as the doors shut behind me, I hear muffled shouts from what is most likely to be Gale, Peeta, and Haymitch. I run into the fire escape and sit down. There are too many thoughts swirling in my head.

Gale is going to die.

I take a swig from the bottle in my hand.

Gale is going to die protecting me.

I take another.

Coin killed my sister.

I take a big, long gulp.

Coin's people are trying to kill me, and all I'm doing is sitting in a fire escape chugging liquor.

I finish the rest of it off.

Peeta walks through the heavy metal door and sits on the step next to me. We sit like this for a few minutes, before he finally decides to break the silence.

"He's just protecting you."

"He's going to die."

"He knows what the rest of Panem needs."

"But _I_ need _him_!" I feel my voice rising. "For so long, I was stuck at home, pretty much as good as dead before both of you got back. I barely had any time with him, and he's going to go back out and _die_."

"Katniss…" He grabs my shoulder and turns me to face him. "You weren't listening. An old fashioned battle is the backup plan. If we figure out who their leader is, that doesn't have to happen."

For a moment, the hope starts to come back. Then I remember how we're going to get information. "He's going to die in 13."

Peeta sighs. "He isn't. Haymitch is in there right now, trying to talk him into some compromise. It'll work out."

None of this helps at all. "I know Gale. He won't budge." I lean forward and hang my head. Closing my eyes, I remember every good moment I've spent with Gale. I from the first time I met him, to the days in school when I spoke to no one but him, to the time he was sending me off to the games, to the time we spent together after I got back... If only there was something that could be done to stop him…

"Peeta," I sit up suddenly. "Peeta, we have to go. Now."


	12. Taking Off

**So I'm typing this in school. My ICT teacher is trying to teach us about the internet. LOOOOOOOL.**

**I can feel my writing deteriorating as this fic goes on…ugh, need to work on my writing. Sorry guys.**

Peeta's eyes widen when he sees the hovercraft parking lot in front of us. "No. Katniss, no!" He grabs my arm and pulls me backwards. He used to throw gigantic bags of flour over his shoulder, no problem. Should've thought of that before. "Katniss, are you even thinking about this?"

"I can't let him go!" I scream back. "He'll die! Have you seen him, anyways? Seen how _thin_ he's gotten? There is no way I'm letting him go in there! _He will die!_"

"So will you! Think about this. Think about what you're about to get yourself into. You aren't thinking this through."

I stop fighting back for a moment. He has a point. I'm _not_ thinking about this.

"You're right." I pull my arm from his grasp and look at him. "Absolutely. I didn't think it through." He almost looks relieved, but seems to sense there's something else going on.

"Katniss."

"You're not coming with me." I take a few steps back so I'm out of his reach.

"Katniss, _no_."

His left arm twitches, but he keeps it in place. Barely. I stare at it. Then I realize that his watch has read the same time for the last 6 hours. I feel my eyes get bigger, and he watches me understand. The orange metal band around his wrist is not a watch.

Before he can do a thing, I turn and sprint to the nearest hovercraft. "Gale!" I hear him shout. "Gale! Hovercraft lot! _NOW!_" I look around, frantically trying to start this machine. I turn the key, and push the lever up just as Gale bursts out the door.

"_KATNISS!_" He runs over, and stops two yards from where my hovercraft was. "Katniss, we can find a compromise! Do not go! They'll torture you, _then_ kill you!"

I can barely hear his voice from up here, and forget about the possibilities of him hearing me. I look around the dashboard, and hit a button labeled 'dematerialize'. Nothing feels different, but I look down and see Gale on his knees, running his hands through his hair and crying out in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Gale…" I whisper, and proceed navigate out of the lot.

Hours later, I'm following a GPS that's leading me to District 13. The few seconds before I took off replays in my head: Gale on his knees, frustrated and angry. Angry at himself, because he thinks he failed me again. I suppress a choke. He did everything to protect me, spent hours making plans to make sure I'm going to be safe, and I ruined it for him. I don't doubt that he'll be there a few hours after I land. So I have a short amount of time to get into their system and get everything that needs to be found. I need a plan. I need to use my time to strategize…

But my mind keeps going back to Gale. He doesn't owe me for Prim. I never told him I hated him for it. I can't help but associate him with it, but regardless of all that, I don't hold him responsible. It isn't his fault. He has no debt to repay to me, and when I get back to the Capitol, I'm going to make sure he knows that. And hopefully, somehow, someday, we can be as close to the way we used to be…

A tear streams down my face when I think about it. My life since Gale flashes through my mind. Meeting him, him mishearing me when I introduced myself, the slow process of learning to trust each other… and when we finally did, it was like a huge load was lifted off of both our shoulders. I finally had a friend, someone I could trust completely. I could provide for my family, and he for his. I had someone that I could be myself with, whatever the circumstance. Snow ruined that, and Coin tried to ruin it again. And though we might get closer again in future, I can't say that things will ever be as they were.

I shake these thoughts from my head. I don't need this right now. I look down at the GPS. Apparently, there's another thirty minutes until I reach the forest beside 13. Instead of flying over the district, I decide to fly around it. Just to be safe.

Suddenly, the radio crackles to life. "Katniss? Sweetheart, is that you?" Haymitch's voice nearly makes me fall out of my chair. Of course he would call. I consider ignoring him for a moment, then I remember his threats of transplanting a chip into my head…

"What?" It comes out as more of a statement than a question.

I hear him sigh. "Look, I'm in a hovercraft with Gale. I know he wants to tell you to stop where you are, but…just don't do anything you'll regret." I can hear Gale protesting in the background, but Haymitch gives him a sharp order to 'shut his hole and fly this thing'. Then he comes back to me. "We all know you well enough to know you won't stop if we tell you to. So we figure it would be a better idea to back you up on this." More grumbling from Gale, but Haymitch chooses to ignore him this time. "We're probably only one or two hours behind you, or at the rate your cousin here is going…" Gale snorted at that. "We'll catch up with you faster in about 45 minutes. That is, if you're flying at a sensible pace."

"Don't worry about it. I'll get myself a two hour head start," I laugh.

"No! No, you won't!" Gale shouts through the radio, but I'm already picking up the pace. Soon, I'm flying at maximum speed, and I almost miss my destination.

I find a small clearing and land the hovercraft. It's the perfect place; on the side of a hill, facing away from District 13, with plenty of tall trees around to keep it hidden.

It takes about half an hour to get to the gates of 13. Already, I'm faced with a problem. Their fences are always charged, and there are guards at every entrance. I climb about 40 feet high on a tree, and scan the possibilities. The gate where Gale and I used to use to go hunting has one guard, another one a hundred yards down from there also had one. There's a small guardhouse near the first gate, where I assume there's another 2 or 3 guards. The kitchen is about 200 yards to my right. No food is wasted in District 13, so the only thing they're getting rid of is dirty water. I already know that their sewage system is underground and extremely organized. Hacking the system would only work if I go in undetected, so I can't take out a guard. There's no way I can jump off a tree branch over the fence without being seen, and besides that, I would probably be seriously injured. I glance back towards the kitchen. I suppose I could look more closely. I get off my tree and run to where the kitchen area is. There is a large pool full of dirty dish and cooking water, and who knows what else. It looks pretty bad, and it smells awful, but it could be useful. It looks relatively deep, about 3 or 4 meters maybe? If I were to dive off of a tree, and if I was streamlined enough, I could get in with minimal splashing. Its two thirty in the afternoon, dinner isn't until 8. There shouldn't be anyone in there right now.

Just to stay on the safe side, I poke a leaf through the fence to make sure the water isn't acidic. It doesn't dissolve, or set off any kind of alarm, so I decide that it won't harm me. In two minutes, I'm preciously perched on a branch that's around 25 feet off the ground. I close my eyes. _If you don't do this, Gale will,_ I tell myself. _Gale's gotten weaker. If he does this, either he'll die, or they'll kill him_.

I take the dive.

…**is this worth a review? ^^ *hopeful smile***


	13. New Girl

**Had to do a bit of research for the first part…just so I won't look too stupid, trying to write about something I don't know much about. :P I feel like its sloppier than last time…I tried to make edits but, in the end I just don't really know how to fix it Sorry guys =(**

**Nothing else to say for this big bold part, except to recommend a story for all you Galeniss fans…there's one called Knightingale by DBlaZe, and I'm a little bit more than a little bit obsessed with it. Happy reading **

_This does not smell like dishwater._

The pool is much, much deeper than I think, and apparently a lot bigger than I thought it would be. The water isn't freezing cold like I thought it would be, it's actually really warm. But it's so dark; I'm considering the possibility that there might be some vicious District 13-made muttation down there that's going to torture me to death.

Something doesn't feel quite right. The few white swirls of soap bubbles on the surface led me to think that this was filled with dirty water…but when I push it away, the water seems completely clean.

I can almost hear Gale's voice in my head, telling me to follow my instinct and get out of here. But curiosity gets the best of me. Besides, if they really did have some nasty thing going on here, wouldn't it be best for us to know about it?

I take a deep breath, and go under. I try to open my eyes, but I can barely see a foot in front of me. It gets hotter as I go down. I can't believe how deep it is. I can feel my lungs slowly running out of air, but I keep going down for what's probably a little more than 5 meters. I keep one arm stretched out in front of me, until I hit something hot. Something really, really hot.

I suppress a yelp and shoot back up to the surface.

13 might be the most terrifying district I've ever been to.

After I catch my breath, I go back down again. Good. I'm faster this time, because I know what I'm looking for. When I get near the same spot again, I stop and squint. Rows and rows of neatly organized metal circles. I know that this is enough, I really need to get out of here, but something else insists that I figure it out. I wrap my hand in my shirt and bring myself closer to the metal circles, and pick one up.

It's not a metal circle. It's a rod. A long, burning hot rod. Maybe it's the panic, but I'm far too aware of everything around me. I realize the rods are arranged in racks, that the heat is making me a little nauseas, and most importantly, my lungs are about to burst.

I'm back up to the surface in a matter of seconds. I don't know what to do anymore. So I cling onto the edge of the pool. My breathing is rapid, but I can't tell if it's because I was underwater for so long, or because of what I just saw. No, what I just held in my hands. Think, think Katniss. Thirteen does all things nuclear power, right? I shake my head at myself. I don't know the first thing about nuclear energy. I'll ask Gale when he gets here.

Gale! I completely forgot that he's on his way. I shouldn't be wasting time here. I get up and out of the pool, and run to the kitchen, still dripping wet. I groan at myself. I have nothing to get dry with. I'm going to leave a dripping wet trail wherever I go. Why did I not think of this before? I desperately grab at my shirt and try to wring it dry, but it's pointless. I feel like sinking behind a crate and hiding there until they find me and kill me. But I can't do that, especially not now. Not with Gale _and_ Peeta _and _Haymitch on their way over. I need to keep going.

The kitchen is empty, as I predicted. I start digging around for a kitchen towel, and I don't end up very dry, but it's a lot better than before. I'm aware of the technology here, and the security cameras that are probably planted in every room. Fortunately, I don't see one here. There has to be some kind of uniform I can change into…

I walk into the next room, and immediately get down. Someone, for some unthinkable reason, has decided to work extra hours. I'm stuck in the doorway between the wet and dry kitchen, contemplating what to do. Then I remembered being on kitchen duty with Gale, and how there was a small changing room where we have to change into our kitchen uniforms. Whoever she is seems to be completely engrossed in whatever she's doing, and I make it by without her noticing. I slip into the changing room and am immediately overcome with relief. Her clothes look about my size, and she has a _cap_. She must be quite young, then. I don't have time to feel bad about taking her clothes. I just can't believe how lucky I got.

Getting around is pretty simple with the cap. I restyled my hair, even wore the cap sideways to decrease suspicion. 13 has a really complex building though. The elevators go sideways, as well as up and down. I try to click the buttons I remember…until I end up at the 'jail' where my prep team was kept. There's no one here, and I can't help but be confused, and even a little bit scared. I'm about to leave when I hear crying from the very same room that Octavia, Flavius and Venia were kept. What am I supposed to do?

I stand at the door and try to think of a way to get it opened – it's a jail cell, the guards should have the keys. I lean against the door for about two minutes, trying to think of a way to open it. Then I remember that they chained my friends to the wall, and whoever is in there is probably just as chained up as they were. I turn and try the handle – it's open.

I don't think I'm breathing. It's young girl, only a little younger than me, and she is covered in her own blood. I don't know what she did against 13, but this is obviously their alternative for screwing up their speech. She whimpers when she sees me. It takes me a moment to realize what I must look like, and what she's probably come to expect. I feel my heart going out to this girl.

"Hey, hey, no it's okay…" I slowly walk up to her, as if approaching a puppy. "I'm Katniss…"

Her eyes widen and I immediately regret saying this. Katniss. The Mockingjay. The insane leader of the rebellion that killed the new president. The last real Hunger Games victor.

The one who started this mess in the first place.

"Listen, I don't know why you're here…" something in her eyes tells me that _she does_. I decide not to ask further for the moment. "I'm going to get you out of here, okay?"

She's too weak to respond. I slowly run back to the hallway to check that there's no one there, and I close the door, using only the light from the small window of the door to see. I pull out the Swiss Army knife that Gale once gave me, "in case you ever need it for something," he said. Perfect. With odds like mine, this probably won't be the last time I have to use it. I fumble around with it, pulling out tool after tool, mumbling reassurances that I'm not going to torture her, and at the same time trying to think about how to get her free.

I come up blank. I don't know how to unlock chains without a key, I've never had to do this before. I get frustrated, and end up stabbing a tool into the keyhole. The girl yelps, and I can't help but think of how Peeta and Johanna were tortured in the Capitol…

I can't think anymore. My mind has shut down, but my instinct is taking over. I leave the knife stuck in the keyhole and slam both my fists on it. To my surprise, it opens. The girl stares at me.

"Don't worry, I don't know where that came from either…" I mutter. I look up into her eyes. "Not chained anywhere else?" She shakes her head. "Let's get out of here."

We run to the elevator, and down a million hallways until we finally find a bathroom. I get her cleaned up, and inspect her wounds. No use. I don't know a thing about this. My mother, or Prim…

I silently reprimand myself. I need to keep all emotional thoughts out of my head. We'll get this girl clothes later. For now, we just have to keep her hidden.

We're about to leave the bathroom, then I remember something. "What's your name?"

She looks away for a moment, hesitating before finally saying, "Marigold."

Marigold. Named after a flower. Just like Prim…

The urge to take care of her intensifies. "Alright then, Marigold. I can try to get you out of here, but I don't really have a way out for another couple of hours. In the meantime, I have some things I need to find. Would you mind coming with me?" She looks a little scared. "I guess I could bring you outside…and when I'm done I'll meet you at the fence?" Her eyes get big, and she shakes her head. So far, she's only said one word, but somehow managed to convey everything through her facial expressions. I guess it could be useful when there are people around.

"Let's get going then."


	14. Searching

**I haven't updated in forever. So sorry Had some drama going back to China for a visit, then my grandmother had a really bad fall and she was in ICU and I have two weeks to end of year exams, so I've also been on a tight study schedule. But I should not be making excuses. I've just been lazy. And for that, dear readers, I am very sorry. **

**I realize that I write better when I'm in school. Maybe because I'm more awake. So, doing this in school again. Let's hope it works.**

**Reviews are always appreciated **

The hallways look familiar, but then again, all of them do. Each one we pass through looks exactly like the one before. I can't help but be suspicious of the emptiness here, but I guess that's something I should be grateful for. Maybe they're all outside training? Or possibly an expansion? After the Capitol was taken down, it is not uncommon for districts to expand. I've heard rumors about plans to get rid of the fence and build more into the forest, though I can't say I'm too pleased about that. But either way, the lack of people around is making life a lot easier for me, especially with Marigold.

Marigold. She's so quiet. She's tall, but her back is never upright. She might be the most timid child I've ever seen before. But she's attentive with a keen sense of hearing. In the last fifteen minutes, there have been a number of times where she's told me not to enter a room because there are people in it. She would make for an excellent hunter.

Some sprints and elevator rides later, I finally find an area that I remember clearly. I grab Marigold's arm and pull her through the hall until we reach a room I remember clearly. I walked in on Gale working with Beetee here once, and I don't think they would've renovated a room with so many important things.

I look at my new friend, and she immediately understands. She stands by the door, still as the Capitol's marble statues. When she finally gestures for me to go ahead, I release a breath I didn't know I was holding and push in. But before I can take a step, she grabs my hand, turns me to face her, and puts a finger on her lips. I nod.

Sure enough, there is one man in a corner, leafing through papers, evidently looking for _something_. He doesn't seem like he would be of any importance. We'll just have to work around him.

I squat in a spot where he wouldn't see me, and do some sorting of my own. There are trap plans, artillery plans, weapons of every kind. I can feel the excitement working through me. I'm close. I'm getting close. I just need to find a computer…

The door slams. I immediately drop to my knees, ready to get up and run if I have to. Marigold puts a hand over my mouth, stifling what I assume was going to be a whimper. I sigh inwardly. She's going to need some taking care of.

I'm straining my ears, but I can't hear a thing. I stand up.

I cannot believe what I'm seeing. There's a projection coming from a table; a hologram, probably. Could be what I'm looking for…

I run to the center table, only to find that there are a few different computers there. I look back to check on Marigold, and she looks extremely uneasy. But that's all she's ever been, so I decide to just go ahead anyways.

The adrenaline pumping through my veins is keeping me on edge. I play around with the thing, and it turns out to be an information map. I'm getting more and more excited by the minute. I look through page after page of weaponry, taking pictures of them. I don't know how much time has passed, but I hear the sounds of a scrimmage outside.

I freeze in my place, and Marigold disappears out of sight. A few minutes later, Gale marches in dragging a limp body behind him. Beetee and Haymitch follow behind him.

"_Gale._" I run to him. He looks up and grins.

"Missed me?"

I roll my eyes and choose to ignore him. I turn to Beetee. "There's a hologram information map on that table in the middle. There's a few, actually. I'm not completely sure how to use it, but I found some weapon plans." Gale's eyes meet mine in a split second, and I know exactly what he's thinking. Haymitch notices.

"Let's just get Beetee to figure it out first, alright kids?" He gives Gale a warning look, which he completely disregards.

"Let's get to it," Gale says with utmost determination. "There's more than one?"

"Katniss!" Beetee shouts from across the room. His eyes are still on the hologram but his voice sounds excited. "You just found us direct access to the updated, complete database. How did you even manage to get in?"

Everyone's buzzing, and his question doesn't matter. Direct access to their database? How could I not have known that? I was probably only looking at a tiny portion of what was actually there. There would be building plans, strategic plans, personal files and information and…

"Okay. I've unlocked the other ones, everyone look for something useful."

Gale gets on one immediately and starts leafing through weapon files. I try not to think about what he must be trying to do. "You say these things have everything?" When Beetee nods, Gale's jaw sets. "Thank you."

"I have a strategic plan!" cries Haymitch.

"I've got their communication system. All of it right here. They've had undercover Capitolites setting traps around the city."

"Everything that's ever been recorded. Every weapon, every trap, every bomb that any district has ever created. And by whom." I freeze and look up at Gale.

"That's not what we have to focus on, Gale. Not right now."

"But you want to know just as much as I do, don't you?"

A sharp pang of emotion strikes me in the heart as I remember Prim catching fire. "It won't change anything."

He shakes his head, and keeps searching through files.

Suddenly, alarms start going off.

The buzzing and beeping is so loud, I couldn't hear Marigold running over until she grabbed my arm. The rest of my team glance at her, but they know that now is no time to ask questions. The siren in my ear is deafening.

"Katniss! _How did you get into this system?_" Beetee shouts. I can barely make out what he's saying.

"It was already unlocked!"

His eyes widen, and I suddenly realize that I just made a big, big mistake.

Haymitch runs for the door and rattles the knob. "Locked."

"What is going _on?_" I feel the panic starting to take over as I find myself by the door, kicking and shoving at it.

"The man we just dragged in was outside, waiting for something. We though he was looking for a colleague, but he was probably waiting for you to leave…"

"And then I accessed the open hologram…and there must have been a time sensor…and it was set off…"

"Sweetheart, we can discuss this later. _Find a way out_. _Now!_" Haymitch runs back and forth, groaning and knocking things over. This is the thing about an underground district. Rooms really only have one door.

"Airvents…" I mutter. "Look for the airvents! It's the only way people would be able to breathe down here." We all scatter, except Gale. He stays exactly where he is, rapidly moving his fingers through pages and pages of plans. "Gale, _hurry_. We _need_ to get out of here."

When I don't get an answer, I run to him, ready to put all my strength into dragging him away. In a corner of the room, I hear Haymitch shouting for us to make an exit. He's found a way out, but the one person that I need to leave the most isn't budging.

"Marigold! Marigold, go with Haymitch, okay?" She nods, and I single to Haymitch to take care of her.

"What about you?" she asks me. Her frail, unused voice sounds so panicked, I want to pull her into a hug. But there's no time.

"I'll be fine. Just _go_!" I give her a shove in Haymitch's direction, and she runs. I turn my attention back to Gale. "We need to get out of here, too."

"No, _you_ need to get out of here. _I_ need closure. _I_ need information. _I need to know if it was mine_." The sirens have stopped now, which can't be a good thing.

"I'm not leaving without you."

He turns to face me. "You have to. I don't need or want to be responsible for the death of another Everdeen girl." The pain in his voice almost makes me want to do as he says. Almost.

"You're not being held responsible for the first one. You're not being held responsible for Prim." Something stabs at my heart when I say her name. "I just got you back. I can't lose you _again_."

"Katniss, _I_ need to set myself free from this! _I _need to know! It doesn't matter if you think it wasn't me, or if you don't hold me responsible. Somewhere inside, you will relate her death to me. And even if you don't, _I will_." He turns back to looking for the files.

"Gale…" I pause, fighting to keep my voice from cracking. "You know I'm going to die trying to make you believe me."

"And you know I'm going to die trying to find out the truth."

The lights went out.

**I'm sorry it was kind of sloppy… I'm running out of ideas. Agghhh that's what I get for not planning my storylines before I write them. I'll try to do better next time. Promise…**


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